Needing a Bigger Nail
I volunteered to fail. I keep reminding myself of this, yet rejection hurts, even when you plan on it. I think it would help if I understood why I was being rejected. Yet, these rejections have come in the way of form letters. “Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, we have decided not to publish your manuscript as it does not fit our publishing needs. Good luck to you in your future endeavors…”
And what’s worse than a form rejection? A silent rejection. “If you have not heard from us after six to eight weeks, please know that it is a no.” I wish every publishing company would at least send me the rejection in an electronic form. Somehow it feels good to print them off and make a collection of them. I have a binder of rejections
I was discouraged about finding a publisher for my manuscript, It’s Time, Living a Full and Joyful Life with Depression and Anxiety, that I had been working on for the past three years, when I heard author Steven King being interviewed. He said, “Years ago when I was first writing and sending out query letters to editors and publishing companies, as I would receive a rejection, I would slap the letter over a nail that was sticking out of a wall in my apartment.” He goes on, “After a while I had so many letters of rejection that the nail fell out of the wall. So, I got a bigger nail.” What great advice! I heard this story when I was ready to throw out my manuscript. I had been praying about what to do and I felt this was my answer. I decided if someone like Steven King had to get a bigger nail, then I could certainly keep trying.
For someone, like me, who manages depression and anxiety in life, putting myself out there to be rejected seems like a risky thing to do. And it is. It’s been hard. I have been way out of my comfort zone, feeling rather anxious, heart palpitations with shaky hands, every time I checked my email for responses from publishers. Then I had to deal with my disappointment and discouragement. I couldn’t allow myself to ruminate over these feelings and be plummeted by them. “Never give up,” is something I always told myself when searching for answers for my depression and anxiety. It is advice I needed to take again. I had to keep trying. I felt strongly that I could help people by sharing my stories of the past thirty years of living with and managing depression and anxiety. So, I got a bigger nail or, in my case, a larger folder.
Do you need a bigger nail for something in your life? Can you be okay with failure being a part of success? A musician that I know told me that making mistakes is just a part of practice time. And that makes sense. My husband, Mark, and I would tell our children when they played basketball in high school, “In order to make a basket, you first have to put up the ball. Yes, you may miss the basket, yet you must be willing to try, or you’ll never score.” Taking risks is a part of life, and this is something I need to remind my anxious brain about.
What are you willing to risk for? You are worthy of your dreams. You are worthy of failing. Compose the music, make the proposal at work, apply for that job, sign up for that class, introduce yourself to that person you want to meet, travel that part of the world. Set that goal and give what you must give, but don’t give up.
As for me, I decided to seek out a book coach for some advice. Following her suggestions, I was able to get a phone appointment with an editor. He said, “Send me your proposal and the first three chapters and I’ll have our editors read it, put it through the vetting process and get back with you. He came back with a yes! I was so excited. I celebrated by printing that email off and placing it on top of all the others and then going out for ice cream with Mark.
It is really going to happen. My dream of helping others is going to be realized with my book being published. In it, I share personal stories of my experiences with these illnesses. I take the readers by the hand and help them to emerge from the depths of depression and anxiety to live so they can realize their hopes and dreams.
Today let’s celebrate our hopes and dreams coming true and remember to never give up! There are times we all just need to get a bigger nail –Thanks, Steven King.
Available on Amazon Mid November
You did it! So proud of you! Looking forward to getting a copy!
Thanks Barbara I so appreciate your support! Elaine
Oh I love this post so much! I definitely need to get a bigger nail for a few of my goals. After reading this I realized I don’t even have enough failures yet to fill a straight pin. Ha! It’s not time to give up yet!
My favorite idea you shared: “Can you be okay with failure being a part of success?” Trying is a success in itself and definitely the only way to the end goal.
Thank you for your inspired writing!
I appreciate your kind words Heather. Thank you so much – Elaine
Such good advice. I have a mug on my desk from my time in Japan. Inscribed in Japanese characters on the mug is an old Japanese proverb: fall seven times, get up eight. I am so glad Elaine chose to get up eight by buying a bigger nail, because her book is wonderful. It is easy, helpful, and even inspiring reading. It is not just for those dealing with mental illness but their friends and loved ones, too. In other words, it’s for all of us. I highly recommend it.
Greg, I love that Japanese proverb, simple yet significant. Thank you for your kind words. I so appreciate your support. – Elaine
Whee! A publisher! Congratulations! And I love the book’s cover as well.
Years ago, the principal flutist of the Philadelphia orchestra wrote that a flute student with a DMA from Juilliard could expect to play 17 auditions before being hired for an orchestral position. Not fun.
All the very best to you as the book moves forward!
Susan Goodfellow
Hi Susan, Wow 17 auditions for a Julliard gradutate, that really surprises me to hear that. Thank you for your contributions to making my book happen. I so appreciate all your support! – Elaine
I love this message! So excited for your message helping so many. You are an example of what is possible.
Love the new title and cover!
All the best!
Thank you for all your support with my book and your kinds words. I so appreciate it. – Elaine
This book was meant to be! I’m excited to buy a first edition copy. I am so glad you persevered and prevailed, an inspiring example to remind us all to dream and go for it!
Hi Raylene, Thank you for all your support and encouragement I so appreciate it! – Elaine
I’m so happy for you Elaine. You’ve worked hard to make this book dream come true. Congratulations! I’m excited to read the book and know that it will be a wonderful resource for many who suffer from anxiety and depression….and anyone. Your writing is just a joy to read with lots of good advice for everyone.
Hello Holly, Thank you for all your support and encouragement. I so appreciate it! -Elaine
I’m glad you persevered! I’m looking forward to reading your book!
Thank you for all your support and kindness
You are such a great example to all of us. I’m so happy for you.
Ann. Thank you so much. I so appreciate Kate your support.
Thank you for sharing your life with us. I am so grateful that you were able to get a larger nail and help so many of us. You are one of my heroes 😍!!
Denise
I so appreciate your kind words. You are a dear friend.
Hello! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!