How to Navigate Intense Sadness from Tragic News Help for Depression

How can a person with depression and anxiety navigate tragic news such as that of the shootings at the school in Uvalde Texas? This advice is not intended for those people directly involved in the event, but just some suggestions for us fellow citizens.

When I hear of terrible things happening, it triggers my depression and anxiety. Sometimes my gut reaction is to leave unspeakable things unsaid and I try and numb myself, so I don’t have to experience the miserable feelings that these events can cause.

Numbing is NOT a good or healthy reaction. Numbing usually involves relying on addictions such as food, work, sleep, over-the-counter medications, drugs, and/or alcohol to dull the feelings so I don’t experience great sadness.

Instead I must allow myself to feel the unpleasant feelings. This is a healthy response. Notice I do not call them “negative” feelings because I believe ALL feelings are valid and so I do not label feelings as positive or negative. In this case I will refer to them as unpleasant feelings, because it does not feel good to be so completely sad, discouraged, despondent, hopeless, angry, heartbroken, grieved, troubled, miserable or whatever it is that you are feeling right now.  It does not feel good yet feeling bad is the right thing to do. What has worked for me is to feel my feelings, label my feelings, and allow myself to experience these feelings. Then I navigate my feelings with my behavior. In other words, the answer to “how to deal with tragic news” lies in your reaction to your feelings. Again, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to react.

Unhealthy ways to react to tragic news – blame, shame, and fear imagination.  Do not go into blame, shame, or fear imagination. These three reactions are not helpful to your mental health or to the people who are involved in the tragic situation. Doing even one of these three things allows your depression and anxiety to run away and get out of control. I call this going up the ladder. It is not helpful to think thoughts such as: blame: It is so and so’s fault. Or shame: Everyone who owns a gun is evil. Also, do not go to fear imagination: This will happen to my child tomorrow. And do not continue up the ladder with negative thoughts such as: The whole world is coming to an end, and everything is horrid. There are so many evil people. There is no hope. etc. These thoughts are not true and they allow your depression to deepen, and no one is helped.

Some healthy ways to react to tragic news. (Choose what works best for you.)

1. Stay with the facts and discuss them with a trusted family member or friend.
2. Cry and grieve the tragic loss.
3. Look for the helpers and heroes in the event. There are good people everywhere.
4. Pray – Remember there is power in many prayers. Get down on your knees and humbly, sincerely, and mightily petition God to strengthen, guide, love and provide what the many people involved need. Do this often.
5. Pray for yourself to handle your feelings in a healthy way.
6. Journal your feelings.
7. Donate money to the cause.
8. Send a note or letter of love to the community.
9. Talk to the schools in your area about increasing safety provisions and practicing lock down procedures.
10. What other ideas do you have that would be a helpful and healthy reaction?

Please share your ideas on how to react to tragic news in helpful and healthy ways in the comments. Thank you! You can also google “How to talk to children about tragic events.”  I hope this is helpful to you.  – Elaine 

Do not go up the ladder. Stay with the facts and navigate your reaction so it is healthy and helpful.