Uncertainties and the Crèche     

Kneeling by the table, I place the angel of this beloved crèche behind Mary. Mary is reclining with the Christ child at her breast. Joseph, comforting, is close by. I reach in and position the sheep next to the shepherds, the ewes nursing their lambs. I pause imagining the cry of the babe and the bleating of sheep. The music I have playing in my home permeates the air, “A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices…”

I hum along, scattering straw. Suddenly, the noise of the evening news interferes with the carol. My husband, Mark, has turned on the television. I usually join him, but tonight my shoulders tighten and I clasp my hands together. I hear the commotion of the world in these uncertain times: worry over the new strain of the virus, the senseless acts of violence, and contention between people and countries. Dropping back; a cold rawness ripples through my chest. I begin to think about my uncertainties and disquieting fears. I stand up, shaking off straw.

Just this morning I was on the phone with my mom. We discussed illness, distressing choices loved ones make and our concerns about the future. I like to be in control. I want everything in life all wrapped up and tied with a bow like the gifts under the tree – no internal commotion, no chaos in the world, no fears and no uncertainties.

More than 2000 years ago in a world, like ours, where there was much tribulation, commotion and uncertainties, the people awaited, yearned for and anticipated the birth of Jesus Christ. I need the hope of His birth tonight, just as they did over two millennia. I take a deep breath, listening once again, this time more intently, for the music, “Long lay the world in sin and error pining, til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.”

A gust of wind rattles at the window in my front room and I tuck Mary and baby Jesus further back, closer to the angel. The setting sun casts a few rays of light onto the shepherds, the shepherds who followed the invitation to come unto Christ and learn of Him. An invitation I followed in a great need of mine. After I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was fearful, confused and distressed about what was happening to me and how it would affect my family and my future.  I searched the scriptures for answers and the voice of the Lord was strong, “ Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness“ Isaiah 41:10. This scripture calmed my troubled heart.

At that time the Spirit personally tutored me as I sought answers, through the doctors I consulted with, the books that I read, and the scriptures I pondered. I was taught how to surrender my control, giving my fears to the Savior. I petitioned fervently for the Spirit to unfold my pathway, becoming aware of the importance of the Lord’s timing, His guidance and His way. Nurtured and strengthened beyond my own capability during this dark time, I saw divine help in the details of my life.

Comforted by this memory, I wander into the kitchen to make hot cocoa. Heading into the family room I hold out my hand, offering a cup to Mark, asking him to turn off the TV and follow me. Walking into the front hall I smile showing off the beautiful crèche’s nativity scene.

I look in at the angel standing there protecting the Christ Child. I know that the trouble in the world and my personal concerns do not go away. I also know because of that night long ago, the night for which we now celebrate the crèche, we can see embodied in the gift of God’s Son all the promises of His birth, His life, and His atoning sacrifice. This gift, wrapped in swaddling clothes, is the promise of a perfect and sure confidence for certainty in life. A certainty of knowing that divine help, direction and love are always near. A certainty of knowing that there is a Heavenly plan for each one of us to follow. This knowledge brings me peace and joy. The music playing begins to enlarge my heart and soul and I determine to share this goodwill with others. I rejoice knowing that Jesus Christ is, was and forever will be the Savior of the world. I sing aloud, “Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices, oh night divine, oh night that Christ was born, oh night divine, oh night divine!”

Quotes from the Christmas Carol – O’ Holy Night.
Words by Placide Cappeau. Music by Adolphe Adam.

Elaine H. Quinn

 

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